Carol Goodman Kaufman

compromise

Shopping at the Shuk

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One of the highlights of traveling in the Middle East is shopping in the open-air markets known as shuks or souks. Along ancient cobbled walkways dozens, if not hundreds, of stalls sit tucked into arched stone niches, selling spices, colorful scarves, ceramic ware, metalwork, clothing, shoes, and chickens, along with touristy tchotchkes. And the best part of the shopping experience is the bargaining that takes place once a customer decides that he or she wants to make a purchase.

We here in the United States are used to buying things at the listed price, or on sale. We as a general rule don’t negotiate; we don’t feel comfortable doing it.

But in the Middle East, bargaining is part of the culture. It is expected.

“How much does this shawl cost?”

“This is genuine cashmere, 100 shekels, dinars, dirhams.”

“Too much. I’ll give you 30.”

“I can let you have it for 80, and that’s my gift to you since you are my first customer of the day.

“I’ll give you 50. ”

“I can’t make a profit at that price. Give me 75.”

You get the drift. Eventually the customer and the merchant reach an agreement. They compromise on a price. Nobody gets everything, but nobody feels cheated either.

Yes, it’s part of the culture. So, what happens when parties from this mercantile culture sit at the peace negotiating table?  Suddenly, this one wants preconditions and that one doesn’t. Parties get up and walk away. Then one party finally does come to the table, mere weeks before the other’s prior agreement is set to expire.

Crazy, completely unproductive, and ultimately harmful to the real people who have to live with the non-decisions.

Perhaps negotiation has degenerated because the diplomats assigned to them are too far removed from the shuk. They have “people” to do everything for them and don’t remember the idea of compromise.

So, my idea, for what it’s worth: Before every scheduled negotiating session, every diplomat involved in negotiations should be required to go shopping. And bargain.

Tea and No Sympathy

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As Americans wait to hear if we will be plunging over the fiscal cliff just as we ring in the new year, I am sitting at my desk swaddled in layers of clothing. Sub-zero temperatures chill me despite central heating, so I am drinking lots of hot tea. But tea makes me think of the Tea Party. And the Tea Party starts to get my blood boiling so I may not be so cold in a few minutes.

This group of renegade representatives in Congress reminds of a child I saw in the supermarket a while back. The little boy wanted candy that his mother didn’t want him to have, so he began to cajole. Cajoling progressed to whining, whining to crying, and crying to screaming, kicking, and generally wreaking havoc on the supermarket floor. The mother didn’t give in, and eventually the boy picked himself up off the floor and behaved himself. Those of us within earshot had to endure the tantrum, but we all admired the mother’s fortitude in resisting what amounted to emotional blackmail. Next time, this child will think twice before pitching a fit.

And that is why I think of the Tea Party. These members of Congress are acting like stubborn, spoiled children. They are holding their collective breath and waiting for the rest of Congress to give up and do their bidding. I am hopeful that if they persist with their puerile stunt long enough, they will ultimately pass out. Barring that, if they continue to throw their hissy fits, perhaps their constituents might just decide to call them back to their home districts for a much-needed time-out.

The Tea Party people seem to lack both the maturity and sophistication to know that politics requires compromise. With compromise, nobody gets everything they want, but  all sides usually get something.

Now to my next question: Where are the centrist members of the Republican party? Why aren’t they mentoring their junior colleagues in the way things work? Or, are they secretly hoping that they self-destruct, allowing the party to return from the outer fringes of reality and back into the mainstream?

Alice was right. This is the stupidest tea party we have ever been to.